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Name: Melissa
Metro: Philadelphia


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Member Since: 10/12/2005

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Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Violin Frustration

I don't know why, but since I started highschool, I've gotten more into playing the violin. I've even started practicing more, to the point where I can't picture life without the violin. This is where the frustration part comes in: I know that I'm improving, I can hear it when I'm practicing, but when I have to actually perform, even if it's just playing a small passage for my teacher, I'm back to where I started. I always try to tell myself to perform what I've practiced and show my teacher that he isn't wasting his time with me, but I end up making the same mistakes that I made the week before that I thought I had taken care of.

Anyway, now I'm trying to figure out what my problem is. Is it:

a) Confidence

b) Not practicing long enough (I usually try to practice at least an hour and a half every day)

c) Practicing the wrong way

d) Practicing the wrong things

e) I just suck

f) All of the above

So...I guess I should get off the computer now and go practice.

-Melissa


Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Currently Listening
Awarapan (Emraan Hashmi)
Toh Phir Ao
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Well, I'm back!

The title says it all I suppose. I haven't written in a while, but here I am. I have long since gotten my SAT II scores (Biology-610, Literature-560...that's good right?) and might have gotten a teacher fired. I have also started a website for my writing circle. As for SangreAzul(formerly known as Asphyxia), it exists no more, though I still have hope.

I have a lot of hope. The new school year's coming up and I'm actually looking forward to it. It's an oppurtunity to forget about my past failures and start fresh. The auditions for All City are coming up too, I'm really nervous seeing as how I only barely made it in last year, and I don't have the audition piece for second violin (if anyone has information about this, please contact me). This time not only will I try my hardest not to end up in the back (where everyone behind me is always bumping me down to last chair even when I'm, in fact, not), I will prove Ms. N wrong and shove it in her face (that's my main source of motivation). In general, I'm working harder when it comes to violin. I want to stop feeling so inadequate whenever I'm around all of my cool musician friends...and have something to shove in Ms. N's face.

This year will also be my second to last year in Chinese school. I'm hoping I'll get a good teacher who knows a bit about hands on learning, immersion and useful everyday vocabulary. If not, my sister and I have already laid out plans for the Chinese Textbook Revolution.

At this point in my life I feel happier and more optomistic than ever. I can do anything if I try.

-Melissa

PS- I came across this site by accident a while ago, it's a great blog that gives insight on life in Metro Manila. She's hasn't updated in two years, but check it out anyway.


Saturday, May 26, 2007

Currently Listening
End of An Era
By Nightwish
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Damn You SAT II!!!!!!!!!

Hey Guys,

Haven't written much in a while and that is partially due to the (stupid, very, very stupid) decision to take not only the reccomended SAT II for Biology, but also Literature. The test is next week and I'm just about starting to freak out. As you all know, I am a procrastinator (see, I'm doing it right now!). I lack self confidence and motivation. This means that I an doomed to fail...but fortunately, I know how to take good notes. With this valuable skill, I will not only be able to save myself from failure, but also start a business (take lots of notes and sell them to next year's desperate Freshman who's parents will make them take the test)!

So yeah, I guess I should relax a little. If I fail, then I can probably retake them (still a waste of $8, though).

-Melissa

PS-Nightwish came out with their new single, Eva, yesterday!! It's the first off of their new album (still untitled, set to release in September), with their new singer, Anette Olzon (they announced that on Thursday).


Monday, May 21, 2007

Response From Principal

I just got a response to my letter.

Melissa,Ms. _____ has addressed your concerns with Mr. _____.  I am glad thatyou realized that a comparison to the Holocaust would be offensive.  Iappreciate your concerns for the quality of our education here.  I wouldlike to meet with you although it will have to be next week.Ms. _____


Update on the Letter

Unfortunately, I still haven't gotten a response yet, but that's really not what this update is about. This update is about the references that I made to the holocaust in the letter. I should have addressed this issue a lot earlier and I'm sorry that I didn't. I really did not mean to offend people with that reference. I was aiming to make a point, but instead I distracted from a lot of what the letter was about and offended a lot of people in the process. It was a very irresponsible decision and I was just stupid the moment that I made it. I'm sorry for making such a comparison and I'm sorry for not being able to realize the enormity of the stupid mistake on my own.

Below is an edited copy free of references to the Holocaust or my sister that I intend to resend to Ms. Neff.

-Melissa

 

*****

May 15, 2007

 

Dear Ms. ___:

I have a complaint against World History teacher, ________. Throughout my experience in his class I have found him to be unqualified, irresponsible, and downright abusive. I believe that for the well being of my fellow classmates, and myself Mr. ____ should not be permitted to maintain his position at this school.

Mr. _____ has made it obvious that he is unqualified for his profession. He even outright stated so to an entire class on the first day of school. He said, “I’m learning right along with you guys.” He, on the same day, had also admitted to not having read the summer reading book over the summer and instead, read it during the first week of school. Mr. _____ also goes off topic quite often to talk about his family and his absurd project ideas, leaving no time for the students to learn much of what is in the curriculum. On top of that, Mr. _____ once admitted to one of my peers that he randomly assigns grades on tests. He uses this grading method on other assignments, also. Every week, the students are required to do a current event, which is a short summary of a news article. He admits to not even reading them and again, randomly assigning grades. This man is clearly not doing his job, which leads me to my next point.

Mr. _____ is irresponsible. Lately, it seems that we students have been loaded down with more and more work while our teacher seems to be doing less. Mr. ____'s idea of teaching is to assign his students many projects. These projects require the students to get into groups and teach the class a section of the chapter we are learning. Afterwards, the students are required to make up test questions for the chapter test. Mr._____even has a student “volunteer” to type everything up. After taking the test in groups, we are asked how we think we did, which is how he grades his tests. When asked about why he couldn’t teach the lesson, he says that there is so much material to cover in so little time. On the contrary, it would take the same amount of time for him to do the teaching himself, since he one or two lessons are presented on one day. Plus we are given several days to prepare our presentation with our group. As I mentioned in the paragraph above, Mr. _____ likes to waste time. If he had spent class time actually teaching then maybe he wouldn’t have to subject his students to his twisted logic. He defends himself be saying that it would help us remember information that is taught be ourselves. But let me ask you, isn’t he the teacher? If the students can teach better than the teacher can, why is he the one getting paid? The mere fact that the students are better at teaching than the teacher himself is disturbing.

Even more disturbing is the verbal and physical abuse that Mr. _____ inflicts on his students. In class, he regularly puts students down and even hits them. One example is when one of my friends was hit over the head with a very heavy textbook for merely defending me. One day, Mr. _____had asked the class to look something up in the World History textbook. I had finished using the textbook and had put it in the rack underneath my chair. Mr. _____ comes over and sees a Biology textbook on my desk and tells me to put it away because I needed to have my World History textbook out instead. My friend promptly informs him that I had already finished the assignment and didn’t need the textbook. In response, Mr. _____ picks up my Biology textbook and uses it to beat my friend over the head. In a rather recent incident that happened sometime last month, Mr. ____ somehow acquires a long, plastic stick and hits another student on the back with it. Two days ago I asked him about why he was always hitting his students. He asked me if I had ever been hit and I said that I had not. He goes on to basically tell me that if I was never then it should not matter to me. Mr._____ also claims that because none of the abused students had ever come forward to a higher authority, then that must mean that they were just fine with being abused. It should be noted, however, that when someone had spoken up in class to question his abusive practices earlier in the year, Mr. _____ responded with a long speech about how it would be a bad idea to sue him. I have asked around and have concluded that he gives the same speech to the other classes that he teaches. This speech goes on to inform the students that if he were to be sued for abuse, he would be suspended from work with pay and the child’s parents would lose money by having to hire an attorney, which would ultimately amount to nothing because he would be not be found guilty.

You may have had some questions as to why I had waited until close to the end of the school year to come forward with my complaint. There are many contributing factors. One of which is a research paper that I had to write in English class, the topic of which was people who had fought for justice. Many of my fellow classmates would just let it go, believing that it shouldn’t matter because school is almost out and we will no longer have to deal with Mr. _____ ever again, but after doing research for my English paper, I have found empowerment and inspiration to fight for justice. Another reason why I decided to write this letter. Ironically, Mr. _____ suggested it himself after I spoke to him about my concerns. I know that the only reason he did so was because he thinks that I will not go through with it. Unfortunately for him, I am stronger than that.

I was appalled and outraged when I discovered that this unqualified, irresponsible and abusive man had been masquerading as a teacher for ten years. _____ has been doing nothing but waste time and tax dollars for ten years. As a student of ___________, a school that claims to be one of the best in the district, I feel that I deserve better.

Sincerely,

 

Melissa _____



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